Guess how am i while writing this post? Extremely free and bored!!!
Yes, here i am staring blankly in front of my computer., totally lost on what i am supposed to do. This is not the first day i had nothing on hand. In fact, it happens all the time.
Sometimes, i keep asking myself: what the hell am i staying on for this job? experience? $$$?
Yes, it is all about $$$. i tend to be swayed easily by $$$ and the fear of being jobless for months forced me to stay on. However, prolong staying on creates an emotionally unstable me. I started asking myself the following reason:
1) Am i incapable of doing other stuff other than photocopying and scanning documents?
2) Why wasnt i given the chance to do publications or even assist in the write-ups?
3) Is my English terrible? so tt's y i'm deprive of the chance to render help?
Without any work to do, building sandcastles in the air becomes a daily routine that helps me to fill up the emptiness and turns clock to the timing i look forward to every day.
Simply to say, the unoccupied me is letting my imagination running wild. Searching for the right words to describe me, i would say I'm sinking into depression soon man!!! A cauldron of mixed emotions that contrives low moral, depression, low confidence level and desperating brews strongly within.
I'm lost and does not know what am i supposed to do. god, life sucks
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
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